Big day

Pants buttoned and drove car.
Such accomplishments!
:-)

Support group suggestions?

In keeping with my 5 year old daughter's commitment last week to quit smoking, I have a confession to make.  I have been under the illusion that I could stop a certain behavior of mine anytime I wanted to. 

  ..."It's not that I NEED to do this,  I'm just choosing that I want to right now because I'm more comfortable that way.  Really, I can stop anytime..."

Well friends, it turns out that I can't "just quit."

I tried, and I couldn't.  It wasn't possible.

I have had to face the hard truth that I cannot give up my drawstring pajama pants and sweats.

I can't get my regular pants buttoned.

"I quit...."

My friend, Lisa, was walking Alex and Ella to school yesterday afternoon with her two boys. Along the way, part of the conversation went like this:

One boy:  I smell barbecue!

Pause

Ella (age 5):  I quit smoking.

Lisa:  Oh, really?  Had you been smoking long?

Ella:  No.  I never started.  I just decided to quit.

Post-op report

I had my first post-op visit on Monday, and my surgeon was very impressed with how well I'm doing!  She was surprised that I've been off the Percocet (for pain) since last week, and says everything looks good overall.  It wasn't much of an outing, but I was really tired when I got home!  I took a nice little afternoon nap after the kids left for school.  I am certainly still lacking the energy I had... when I clean off the kitchen counters and disinfect them, and then feel like I've earned a nap... you know I'm not quite "back to normal" yet!  I call this my "pretend" life that I'm living... the one where I DO get to take a nap after cleaning off the counters, someone brings me dinner every night, and my biggest job is to work on healing and getting better.  Yeah, this is not my "real" life! :-)  I feel pretty good in my "pretend" life; I'm not sure how well I'd hold up in my "real" life!

My surgeon reminded me how deceiving it is to see my incisions healing up so nicely and quickly... it's easy to forget the major work she did inside and how much I have to heal from under my skin.

As I do this all important job of healing (I keep reminding myself I only have one chance to do it right!), I am so thankful for all of you that have stepped in to help- taking the kids to school, picking them up, bringing meals, baking cookies with the kids or doing some other fun activity, or cleaning my bathrooms or kitchen... it has been such a help and we are all so thankful.  The kids love to see you all, and I KNOW Aaron appreciates not having the entire world and all our responsibilities resting on his shoulders alone.  :-)

I woke up this morning and realized that the coma I fell into on the couch last night by 7 pm was probably partly due to the fact that I'm coming down with a cold.  I hope I can still fight it off (if I can't when my life consists of sitting on the couch, drinking tea and mostly resting, there's not much hope for ever fighting one off!), but if not, at least I'm not doubled over with pain every time I cough or sneeze now....just a little hurt. 

Well, I'm off to attend to my cup of tea... vanilla coconut white tea this morning...   :-)

Question of the night from Max

"Is everything the same between red and green except for the color?"

Home sweet home

It's nice to be home to recover, although there is a lot more noise here than at the hospital as the kids are in various stages of upset as they head to bed... some gave me sweet kisses good night they passed by me on their way to bed, and others are in loud mourning (sackcloth and ashes are coming soon, I think) over the loss of their Lego structures that had to be put away as they are being bodily removed to bed....

.... aaah, yes.  With all the sadness that was present on that hospital floor, very little of it had to do with Legos.  It's a different world here! :-) 

I am slowly making progress and seeing hope for healing.  My first night and morning in the hospital were great and I was feeling really wonderful (for having just had a major 3 hour surgery!).  By the time I went to bed on Thursday night (my first night home), I was in a lot of pain from the leftover gas from the insufflation during surgery.  My shoulders, front and back of my neck, chest and upper back were all sore and crackly- I felt like I was made of bubble wrap (I'm not as much fun to pop- although if I could have, I would have!).  I decided to dose up on the Percocet and try to get a good night's sleep.  This was a great plan, until I got to our bed and tried to figure out how I was going to lay down!  My poor husband spent a good 10 minutes with me and all the pillows in our house trying to figure out how to get me into bed and in a position that I didn't feel like I was dying.

I felt like the worst patient I've ever had.... after getting it all arranged and laying back, "No, I'm sorry.  I don't think this will work."  Try again, and again... "Do you think you could move this one pillow up just a bit?  Okay, over here more.  No, down... no back up just an inch....  Okay, how about a bigger pillow under my knees?  Hot pack here, ice pack here..."

Oh, the drama.
Finally, success. (and then Aaron got into bed and the whole thing tilted!)

And what great success it was!  I did not move a single muscle the entire rest of the night and did not wake up at all until the alarm went off the next morning.  I have not slept that well for weeks!!!  In fact, I still felt in such a comfy position when I woke up, that I took another Percocet and decided to take advantage of it (who knows, if I moved, maybe I'd never be this comfortable again in my life?) and go back to sleep.  I did that very well, and didn't get up until 1 pm that afternoon.. :-)

When I finally got up, much of the shoulder gas pain seemed to have dissipated, and I think it's mostly all gone by now.  Now that pain is resolving, I feel much more comfortable and able to sleep in more positions, which was very helpful last night.  Bed looked a little more normal and less like a pillow museum when I went to sleep.

I've been able to rest and take it easy thanks to Aaron and my mom and sister who are helping out this week.  It's such a blessing to be able to sleep and rest as needed, and have them jump in to help with the kids.  Of course, the kids are loving all the attention and time with Gramma and Aunt Amy. :-)  Gramma is home now, hopefully to recover quickly from the cold that the kids gifted her with, and Amy will be here until Wednesday.

I made it out into the wide world today to celebrate a precious little friend's first birthday.  Although not far (I trekked all the way across the street) I did get out of my pajama pants to attend!  Yes, I put on other pants before I left- that was more the accomplishment that taking off my pajama pants. :-)  Happy Birthday, sweet girl!

Thanks again so much for your support, comments and well wishes.  I am feeling so incredibly thankful for how well surgery went, and so thankful that I made the choices I did for this surgery. Looking at the pictures of the organs she removed, I can truly tell you that I feel nothing but relief that they are gone!  So many adhesions, multiple endometriomas on both ovaries... it was just a mess and I feel that my body is healthier to have that all out!  Now, the sight of my "swelly belly" would beg to differ with the idea that anything was removed- it looks more like several water balloon artilleries were placed there for storage. My surgeon assures me that she really did take it all out, though, even though that page of photos showing it all cleaned up was accidentally deleted during surgery.  Hmmm.... sound suspicious to anyone else? :-)

Heading home from the hospital

Aaron is downstairs picking up my discharge meds and then we'll head on home!
I'm doing pretty well- got up walking last night and multiple times today.  My abdomen hurts a bit but mostly it's my shoulders that are SO sore from the gas they inflated my abdomen with yesterday for the surgery. I feel all crackly when I try to take a deep breath!  I'm so happy to be eating, and have enjoyed a nice quiet morning and afternoon sitting by the window drinking several cups of tea, and looking out in to the gray haze that lies between me and Mt. Rainier... :-)  It is always nice to be inside with a hot cup of tea on a rainy day- I even brought my own very soft lap blanket from home, and right now, I'm doing okay without the fireplace.... :-)

Thank you, thank you for all your kind words and encouragement.  Thank you to those of you who sent emails or left phone messages the night before my surgery or over the last two days.  I'm sorry I didn't return the calls or emails, but I heard them and read them and was so encouraged.  The magnesium citrate demanded that my time be spent in the bathroom and not at the computer or on the phone for any length of time, which was really a bummer  :-)

Thank you all so much for all of your notes and walking through the day with us.  I feel so loved, supported and cared for…  and that’s a really nice way to feel.

My surgeon came in to talk with me again this morning and go over the surgery once more.  I knew I was in pain, but it’s always nice to have someone tell you there was a good reason for it…  :-)  The endometriosis appeared to be contained entirely in the organs that she removed- she looked all around but didn't see any signs on any other organs.  That is so encouraging to me that hopefully it will be gone now for good!  Once again, my right ovary was stuck to the back of my uterus, and my left ovary was stuck to my pelvic wall, and pulling up.  It was twisting on itself due to the adhesions, but couldn't  fully twist (an ovarian torsion) because it was stuck in place.  So, that was probably the primary source of all that left sided pain I've been having since November.

It sounds like transport is here so I'm on my way home!